I know you’ll think I’m a louse
But lately I’ve found it just grouse
To use a new trick
And pleasure my dick
By carelessly fucking a mouse
You hold them in gloves made of velcro
Inserting yourself fairly slow
They stretch and they squeak,
Their ribs give a creak –
That’s when they will burst, don’t you know.
It works like a treat with most mice
And come when I’ve done it just thrice
I couldn’t care less
’bout all of the mess –
The cat licks it up in a trice.
I’ve added some sexual spice
Tho you may not think I am nice
I’ve given up cows
(My New Yearly vows)
And taken up buggering mice.
I tried that ol’ cyber sex crap
But found I preferred just a nap
Till one day I found
Down there on the ground
A pair of white mice in a trap.
You’re better off buggering mice
Their bum is as tight as a vice
And don’t ever worry
About saying sorry
They never come back for it twice
I’m loving just buggering mice
They’re best when held in a vice
But always take care
With those over there
They bite and they’re covered in lice.