Inventing the unloseable calorie
The testing was done on young Valerie
She grew from size eight
To an incredible weight
To the jeers of the mostly male gallery!
I’ve long sung in praise of big women,
Their attributes oft I’ve been hymning,
Use as windbreaks in gales,
Or decoys for whales,
Or diving-rafts, useful when swimmin’.
We tried to use Val as a raft
On launching we found we were daft
The waves from her motion
Stirred the Indian Ocean
And swamped more than six hundred craft!