Current Affairs, Mostly Australian;1998-2000

A look back at Australia around the turn of the Century.

 

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Date: 1998/09/21

I’ve been very good this fortnight
(The Commonwealth Games, what a sight)
I’ve not boasted once
Tho your teams we did trounce
For gloating is never quite right!

But all of the athletes did well
Just making the teams was quite swell
They gave of their best
Whether first or the rest
And even the cyclist who fell!

But Susie O’Neill is the star
With swimming she went very far
Her ten medals gold
A big tale have told
And all here Down Under went “Rah”

There were many others of note
Squash play which had an “Elgar Note”
Relay swim’rs in kilts,
Weightlifters, wow, built!
A Canadian diver got my vote!

Archie – Recovering from ten days of excessive patriotism!

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Oct ’98

In Oz we’ve Galahs by the brood.
These parroting pollies, votes wooed.
We’re having elections,
I’ve lost my erections!
I’d rather be screwing than screwed!

This combines a couple of Oz slang terms and references – “GaLAH” – a pink and gray parrot (Also (sl) a fool, an idiot, an incompetent! – Archie is sometimes referred to as a “bit of a galah”) “Pollie” – As in “Pretty Polly” – referring to pet parrots (Also (sl) a polititian which brings us back to “Galah”)

This democracy’s a big sham
The winner is simply a ham
For you know what I mean
Whatever they seem
Who wins? Another Polititian!

(And if they are not at the beginning, they are within a couple of weeks!)

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Date: 1998/11/01 1/11/1998 John Glenn again flew in space – – –

In Perth, my own city of birth,
Glenn saw the first lights from the Earth
He’s up there again
We’ve lit up again –
And, like John, why isn’t it me?

Beginnings in space reignited
The City of Perth was relighted
The shuttle passed by
He leaned out, said, “Hi!”’
An older John Glenn was delighted!
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20/9/00 – The Aus Dollar dropped to nearly US50c in mid September 2000.

The dollar is diving again
A boy ‘mongst ‘lympian men
It dived off the board
And ‘tho the crowd roared
It’ll soon be down under the Yen.

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20/9/00 –

The Olympic Games were marred by positive drug tests –

mainly from eastern European weightlifters.

The Romanians must think we’re all fools
And they keep on eating ampoules.
The weights they can lift,
But given short shrift
Some cash overrules all the rules!

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21/9/00 –

Our track heroine, Cathy Freeman, was expecting tough opposition from the French girl, Perec. For one reason or another, Perec had avoided all competion leading up to the games and when she arrived in Sydney, made a very hasty departure for reasons which were never fully explained.

Misplacing the French girl Perec
(It seems she is now just a wreck)
Embarrasses us,
They will all harass us –
I think that she needs a big cheque.

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26/9/00 –

fuel prices take a giant 10% leap upwards because, allegedly, there was an artificial shortage being created by the oil producing countries.

Oil comp’nies are crooks, here’s the proof
Our fuel price has gone through the roof
If it goes any higher
(You may think me a liar)
But we’ll end up travelling on hoof

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27/9/00 –

Just because I am paronoid about Politicians, doesn’t mean they are not out to get me!

The Olympic games are a blast
And politics things of the past
But what are they cooking
While we are not looking
Out of sight they can really move fast

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30/9/00 –

The trial of ex-president of Indonesia was aborted because he is “too ill” to be tried for his crimes. An interesting defence.

Ex-President Mr Suhato
Was once Asia’s biggest tomato.
He is ill, poor bloke
He’s had his third stroke.
To his crimes he has no obbligato?

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7/10/00 –

Money for education is always a political tightrope -the latest formula adopted seems to give to the rich and take from the poor

The King’s School in millions will score
While Gov’ment schools are quite sore
How dare they all cry
With throats that are dry
And like Oliver ask for some more.

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17/10/00 –

Some rather nasty bullying accusations have been made against the students at one of Sydney’s top private schools.

Despite all of Trinities cries
There’s nothing new under the skies
For boys will be boys
They had the same ploys
In Golding’s “Lord of the Flies”.

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18/10/00 –

The Minister for Industrial Relations was careless with his ministerial phone card – and a $50,000 bill was run up. He was exonerated from any wrongdoing and continues to hold his position!

I once scored some Government “lolly”
Quite wrongly, I found out by golly
I’m now called a thief
Unlike Peter Reith
Oh God, I wish I was a pollie!

20/10/00 –

Reith’s main rival for the leadership of his party, once the current leader leaves, is Peter Costello, the Minister for Finance. Strangely, it was through his department that the phone bill was made public!

The stocks of Pete Reith are now low
It seems he may soon have to go
But who pulls the strings?
Is he in the wings?
Has another Pete had a low blow?

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29/10/00 –

My comment on the American Presidential race (posted to alj as part of the “G Shrubbleyew Bushboy” thread.

It matters not who wins the race
Or how nice is the winner’s face
Whether for us or for them
(Repub or plain Dem)
They are ALL polititians at base!

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An Adelaide man became tired of looking after his aged mother and so put her on a train for Sydney.

Then he sold the story to Channel 9!

Granny’s quite strange now she’s old
She wont do a thing she’s been told
So she’s off on a train
Although I’ll explain
When to 9 the whole story’s been sold!

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Jan 23, 2001 –

The Australian Open is on and tho my favourite is Martina Hingis – this rhyme infected me –

The Williams, Serena and Venus
Do more than just play at tennus
Cos while they are servin’
I sit here, just pervin’
And the next stroke will be on my penus!

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Osama Bin Laden is glum
His prick is the size of his thumb
Since late last December
He’s played with his member
And still he is waiting to cum!

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