Green Cheese

I had been on an interstellar trip and was returning to earth using the Leonids meteor shower as camouflage

I had promised to bring some green cheese back from the moon for a Scot’s lassie named Jayne.


I floated free with meteors, see
By myself, and alone, was just me.
Now Earth-Moon comes near
Big twin-star from here.
I hope I don’t land in the sea!

Of course! I have promised to get
Green Cheese for young Jayne, my sweet pet.
I’ll land on the moon
Sometime really soon.
Then down on the Earth I will set.

Oh Boy! Now do I really stink
And my skin has gone very pink
I’ve been far too long
Where sunlight’s not strong
So maybe a bath first I think!

Then through the air, I’m off to Ayr
While holding the Green Cheese with care
Tho wrapped it still shows
In dark how it glows
And people just stop and they stare!

On landing, the time really lags.
It’s such a bore, waiting for bags
To come through the door.
So Jayne, here on the floor –
The first of our hot sweaty shags!

The airport crowd all stood stock still
And watched as your quim you did fill
I lay on my back
As you lowered your crack
On my pole, stuck up like a quill!

The gathered crowd, how they all cheered.
They watched as you bucked and you reared!
That copper has come
Before we’ve half cum
We’re arrested, it’s just as I feared!

Now carried off in the throes of passion
We may have now set a new fashion!
And while stuck together
In Court we’re still tethered.
Our rudest bits we are still flashin’!

The Judge saw much more that he ought
And he waved at Clerk of the Court,
Who then stuck his head
‘Neath robes of bright red
And showed how this judge could be bought!

The Jury, eight boys and four girls –
(A quadruple menage de triols)
With a cock in each mouth
And one further South –
And quims each with two tongues atwirl!

The Bailiff, he calls for more order,
The Prosecuter’s right on the border.
But when she bent over –
The bailiff’s own Rover
Leapt out and began to deep sword’er

And thru all of this my hard shaft
Continued to pleasure your daft
And wet little crack.
Your bum I did smack,
And you ground away with much craft!

For days the whole Court was kept closed
And Parliament had questions posed!
Finally exhausted
Our tenseness de-tauted
We stopped and then put on our clothes

The wise men were brought in to find
What caused this tale and in their mind
It is the Green Cheese
Which from Luna I seized.
A psycho-erotical kind.

It’s influence is felt far away
No wonder our privates did stray
And Lunatics made
(Watch morality fade)
This Green Cheese – Oh, please take away!

And that’s why, beneath the full moon
All Lovers are inclined to spoon
The moist bits get wetter
And hard bits unfetter –
As seen on a beach close to Troon!


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