Ron, my keyboard, has a mind of its own and delights in causing embarrassment to me. Back in December 1998 he took it upon himself to post one of my unfinished files just as Peter had gone off to work in foreign parts for a week.

I found these in Archies “need refinement file” – Ericka, I thought you might like to see them!
Ron – the Keyboard from Hell!

Archie thinks to himself (like any male)

While Peter must leave for some work,
Oh “E” please, we should not just lurk
I’ll be very blunt,
I lust for your cunt –
And the chance of a very quick ferk!

Rethinks to himself – must make it pretty or she’ll say “No!”

While Peter’s away on a job
You’re lacking a good hardened knob.
Let us spend some time,
At your place or mine –
I’ll cause all your body to throb

No, possibly still a little blunt

While Peter is elsewhere employed
You body should not be untoyed
By letting me seize
Those 38c’s,
You’ll find that you’re soon overjoyed!

No, still not right – maybe a little more traditional

While Peter is earning his pay
Let’s have tea in a local cafe.
‘Bout etchings I’ll talk
(With hardening stalk) –
I will ask you up for a lay

This isn’t working –

Damn, Blast all this trusting to luck
I’ll give her Martinis to suck
And after we’ve noshed,
And when she is sloshed –
We’ll crash to the floor and then fuck!

No I can’t say that (I hate obvious rhymes)

While Peter’s at work and aslaving
I could give your oyster a laving
Then nibble your clit
Well, maybe a bit,
And then the main course we’d be having!

Maybe, but I’m not sure about this one either

Ericka replied with the anticipated rejection.

I browsed in your unrefined file
And recognized Archie’s crude style.
Will I make his pants dance?
I declare, “Not a chance!
But thanks for the offer”, I smile.

I re-read old Archie’s sex rhymes.
(You know P & I made it six times
the day that he left!)
I feel so bereft!
That Sweet P can sure ring my chimes!

When will my Sweet P return?
I’ve body parts on a slow burn…
With quivering quim,
I scan Archie’s lim(b),
Oh throbbing; stalk; knobbing; I yearn!

Well, Archie, I see you’re no dunce
When it comes to sexual stunts.
You say that your dick’ll
Know just where to tickle?
Well…um… okay, maybe just once!

Ericka. (just don’t *tell* everybody this time!) 😉


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