Obscure words are one of my joys. All of the strange words used herein are REAL and have been found in dictionaries. Their meaning is not always as you would imagine. Of course, being basically nasty, I am not going to give any definitions. Get to know your dictionary or go to one of the many online dictionaries.
Apologies in advance to those whose limericks I have quoted without requesting permission.
CRYPTIC CROSSWORD
I posed a question based on a cryptic crossword clue I had come across. The consequences were interesting to say the least and several dictionaries were pressed into service in an assortment of locations.
25th Sept, 1998
Every time I do my crossword
‘M asked for a worker type word
Maybe I am dense
Ever lacking in sense
They want it with six legs – you heard!
kiss replied
It may be the ants or the bees
Or termites, all in colonies
The drones are the workers
Those bugs are no shirkers
They go ’til they fall to six knees
These colonies may be a kind
Of multiple bodies/one mind
Could be the stinks
Of pheromone links
They might be psychic’ly inclined
(thought that up on the way to Baltimore…)
Archie wrote:
You’re close but you’re not close enough,
These cryptic type clues they are tough.
Just five little letters
They will break the fetters –
The word’s in the first verse and stuff!
Archie – believe it or not, the answer is built into the first verse!
Of emmet I had never heard
It appears it’s a dialect word
A dictionary
Answered the query
You clever cat who ate the bird 🙂
kiss
Kiss, you may go top of the class
But take good care, as me you pass
(Emmet was correct
Tho in dialect)
For I can’t keep my hands off your ass!
Archie – just groping around!
I enjoy getting any new word
Or old one that I haven’t heard
Research is a hoot
I like to piroot*
Shiny bits like a curious bird
(unintentional but am I the “bird” of previous mention?:)
In class I will pass to and fro
As it’s helping my database grow
Could it be you
Are growing too
As past you I frequently go?
kiss
*(so dialectic it’s not in my dictionary. Old US Southern word for “window shopping” or looking but not necessarily buying.)
In piroot was I here indulging,
Tho’ my pants soon seemed to be bulging,
When you dropped your books,
And gave me free looks
At your black satin covered impulging.*
Archie – If we’re not careful we’ll write ourselves into a corner (Love those dark little corners!)
* Old Queensland (The deep North of Oz) word for tight little tush! (Now there’s an opening for you!) No, No, I DIDN’T mean it that way!!!!
I’m facing the corner right now
And just can’t imagine quite how
I got here so quick
My brain’s feeling thick
Must come up with something somehow
Got to stop being a lazy slacker
A nosh would be good, just a cracker
I like ’em with cheese
And now would you please
Tell us is that your real tallywacker?
kiss (whew! can I come out of the corner now please?)
While having your afternoon nosh
I looked close and then I said, “Gosh!”
Tho’ you do not moo
What you’ve got isn’t new
I think you are suff’ring from closh!
I had hoped that this was a prank;
I’d take off your panties and spank
What I then inspected.
But closh has infected
You now and it’s udderly rank!
Archie – rapidly becoming bulgeless.
Ignorance clogs up my head
I s’pose I shall now be shot dead
This rumor of closh?
It’s all bosh ‘n’ tosh
Who will join me for chips ‘n’ ged?
kiss :þ
I’ve just checked out all my resources,
What I’ve found is giving me pauses.
That simple word “closh”
Has beaten me, gosh,
It’s different in two major sources
My Webster’s is fifty years old
My Oxford is never so cold.
Closh is there given,
As “cattle are riven,
With diseases” nasty and bold!
But Websters gives us “sore feet”;
With Oxford “sore neck” does compete.
Just which of these two
Applies quite to you –
……(oops)…………………………….
For that jibe I should now be beat!
Archie – now cow-ering! (Closh is also an old game of “ninepins”)
||————–|| *
|| || /
/\ I—————/
(oo)-
(~~)
Australian Cow (hope it works)
The prognosis fills me with gloom
These kooties will sure be my doom
I will not get far
I’ve got the k’tar*
So I better just stay in my room
With Webster I really am miffed
But it was a generous gift
I use it a lot
But it hasn’t got
All the answers I want. I’ve been stiffed!
kiss
*unsure of spelling or even if it can be spelled!!
(Does being upside down get more blood to your brain and make you so smart?)
But we are still even you know,
Respect for you, it does grow.
That “tallywacker”s
Twisted my knackers.
It’s making me feel very slow.
Archie – sits in corner with big pointy hat with a “D” on it! kiss walks away sneering!
I think in the end I will loose
But for now I’ll just tighten the screws
Of my thinking hat
Til I fall on my prat
And pumpern to hear your peeyoos
But sneer? Oh no, that would be dumb
Don’t let your nards get all numb
A tallywacker’s
Prob’ly kept near your knackers
And makes all the wimmins go hummm…
kiss
My Webster’s says a knacker buys carcasses or slaughters livestock for rendering, or it’s an old, sick, or useless farm animal. (I’m getting a little frightened!) And my New World Dictionary says a knacker is a person selling horse meat as dog meat…yuck!! I figure you’re stretching your knickers…
Your offer of hot chips and ged,
Could lead to us both being fed.
With wine just for two,
It might be that you
Could possibly take me to bed!
But leftover ged, it should be fed
To this next, who has a nice head
He is called a sealgh
And can live on whelk
And uses Scots rocks as a bed.
Archie – Websters knew this one but Oxford didn’t!
Here’s wine, will you please fill our cups
A viognier, enjoy a few sups
The water’s ker-plonk
Recalls I brought conch
And fresh tautog to give the wet pups
Food helps me so much when I’m thinking
But then I may find myself sinking
Into the small death
‘Tween this and that breath
And all of the fish leaves me stinking
kiss (ahahaha-ahaha-aha-ha. I think I’m done in…)
On 1st Oct 1998 TuttaGioia chimed in – – – –
Tempting the Fates, I’ll dip a toe in this Styx…
On a scaur sat an ivory *herring* gull
And scanned the bright sight with eye clinical…
What did she see,
From her post by the sea?
It rhymes with her windswept rock “pinnacle”.
From his roost way up in the sky
Just what did our seagull descry?
A’perched on his cliff,
It was just a skiff
He spied with his seagully eye!
Archie
A convincing solution, But..
I do hope that skiff’s not on fire,
‘Cause what the gull saw was a pyre…
Spied from his pinnacle
A glowing bright shinicle,
A bonfire that lit up the shire.
That word was a bit too obscure..
In OED?.I’m not sure…
Same root as “shine”
So worked out just fine,
And in olden days had allure.
* * *
Tutta asked again
“I’ve been to that mean marriage broker,
A toitish and greedy old joker…
To hear wedding chimes,
We haven’t what rhymes,
Oh, Daughter! I’m just a coal stoker!”
Despite the fact that no-one came up with an answer, Tutta commented –
This is much easier..
A poor girl, she’d be without dower,
But her dad the cupboard would scour..
To provide her with “this”
So she’d trade in her “miss”
And plan an Old World bridal shower.
Tutta…Rhymes with 1,2 and 5 of first lim.
* * *
Tell me now, what do you think
Is a tipple, a ‘tween meals snort link?
If you let it mature
You’ll have it for sure,
‘Cause with age it’s become just a drink.
* * *
My fingers are cool and caressing,
If you’re in me I’m all over, pressing…
But you’ll not be on fire,
You’ll not even perspire…
Despite my hot name, I’m a blessing.
Tutta
Maybe one’s right?
G ilt by the sun’s gentle fire
U nder the spell of desire
E ager to please
S ummer’s fine breeze
S weet’ing the air of the byre
kiss (I get at least three guesses don’t I?)
Karen’s limmed a scene so palpable, you could almost hear the flies buzzing through the golden shafts……
My answer pales…oh, well…
B abbling and sparkling with light,
U der the elms a brave sight…
R unning through leas
‘N eath a cool breeze,
E ver a soothing delight.
Tutta…I think the final “E” survives mostly at the end of placenames.
We have schizophrened in three ways.
To keep all these up would take days.
I picked one with wine,
We’ll have a good time
And with some more words we will plays!
I don’t like those oysters at all
Not while they can get up and crawl
Oh, it’s oyster fish
You’ve put on my dish!
And your ruche made a very fine faule.
A sleep after wine is just fine
I like it fine when you have wine
Although I will bulge
I dare not indulge
Until you have signed I may dine!
And reverting to another line –
I see that’s quite a mouthful for you,
Tallywacker that is built for two!
Of course I am proud
When it I unshroud –
Why is it that fainting are you?
Archie – Who brought that tuna-flavoured body paint into this NG?
I’m not really fond of fish
Unless it’s crustacean-ish
How ’bout a crawdad
This lace smells real bad
It’s fallen into the fish dish
So since I didn’t eat much
How ’bout we get into some dutch
Instead of a snooze
We’ll drink up the booze
Then shall we go for the clutch?
Your size does not make me tremble
This taco ain’t no little thimble
So bring it on dear
It’s words that I fear
So hush and lets get to the dindle
kiss This may be it. I’m wearing out my dictionaries!!
The Common or corn sow thistle?
For that you can just go and whistle
Thistles have prickles
Do much more that tickles
And can damage an eager young pistle!
I’m sure you had another for “Dindle”
(I’ve got me a very good spindle
It quickly rotates
And totally sates
That passion the sight of it kindles!)
My rams with precise sounding speech
Have taught all they’re going to teach.
Cos they’re not the best
They need a big rest,
Their pages are starting to bleach!
Archie
Thistles are Common and thorny
Stickers and corn make sows horny? (don’t answer that)
A dindle’s a tingle
There isn’t a single
Taco that’s not a bit corny
Oh help me up out of this pit
Of clever pleonastic wit
I’ve really had fun
But Archie has won
So now I will bow out of it
kiss
Come sit by me while I blink bonnily,
I’ll warm you so hey nonny nonnily…
And At Christmas time,
With someone I rhyme,
Who leaves lots of gifts so wantonnily.
Tutta
Karen, With a power of invention Putting belief in suspension… replied…
S o, who’s the fat guy by my fire?
A ll in all my behavior’s been dire
N o gifts for me
T ho’ I’ll sit on his knee
A nd laugh at his funny attire
kiss
I’ m sorry that you have been bad…
N aughtiness with some young lad??
G uess I will help you!
L et’s look up that old flue…
‘E’ s there!…Kris Kringle, by gad!!
Tutta…Who, if he gets any paunchier, will be applying at the malls, come December!!
In this case bad has been good
And in the next months if you should
Get big enough
To do Santa stuff
In line for your lap I’ll have stood
kiss (santa, buddah, hmmm)
I’ve watched you two from afar,
And find it so very bizarre
That Arch steals the girls
While others toss pearls..
Is he a famous rock star?
Tutta…Archie, just kidding…your pearls are the best!…I understand why they can’t wait to get their hands and…well, let’s stick with hands…on them!!..
30/11/98
KissKaren. your back is so sore
Now bent with your weight and some more!*
Told once by a mage,
Some skilled effleurage
Will ease all the pain and lots more!
*One and a half turkeys, two extra helpings of apple pie and cream, and those extra flapjacks didn’t help either!
Archie – in trouble again!
Oh Archie if only I could
Put on some weight then I would
Tho’ I ate all those birds
And I’m too full for words
I’ll eat more dessert as I should!
But here you go stirrin’ the pot
I *wish* I was fat but I’m not
I drink too much coffee
The weight falls right off me
More coffee please, iced or hot
But effleurage sounds rather fine
I’ll stroke yours while you stroke mine
My stuffed little tummy
Thinks it’s all yummy
Now *this* is the *right* way to dine 🙂
mmmm-mmm (buurrrrrrp)
kiss
No collection of limericks would be complete without a reference to John Miller, the keeper of limerick lore.
They have all their symbols, OK?
The far right, and in their own way
They’re loyal to friends
(Not means but the ends)
Soft John hoists the Fylfot each day!
Archie
What in blue Hell is a “Flyfot?”
A fly passing gas in a dry spot?
Was this meant to demean
Mr. Clinton, so keen,
Who possibly suffers from flyrot?
Oh, “Fylfot’s” the word that you meant!
A cross, so artistically bent
That it made people shiver,
Just emotionally quiver,
As off to the workcamps they went
John Miller
Date: 1998/11/30 (gee, I went beresk with Websters on this date.)
When Petal and Sweet P have fun
We all can be sure of a pun
Or two and some ex-
tended lines (and sex).
They are gelogenic Top Guns!
Date: 1998/11/30
Our newsgroup was once so sedate
With lims that were fun with no weight.
Now we’ve been invaded
Our minds are degraded –
The spammers are here and they formicate!
Archie – Its not a pretty sight!
Kisskaren and I had a lot of fun doing this one around the end of 1998 and into 1999 just before she went on vacation. Tiddy was becoming curious.
Archie, I know I am thick,
But is it a liquidized dic-
Tionary your drinking,
Or are you just thinking
Up new words to make us all sick?
Tiddy.
I totally agree Tid. Well said !
Nonsensical words do my head
as off I go lookin’
for another fuckin’
word that’s not there, I’ll oft’ lose the thread !
Duke Dillon
Some folk have posted a barrage
Of profound obscure verbiage–
It’s a hassle to look
Meanings up in a book-
So I just throw them in the garbage! 😉
(give it a french pronunciation! It’ll work!!!!!)
To life, and love, and laughter,
Kaylin
I was dared to post this. Couldn’t resist, but, since I’m a gutless weenie, definitions are given after each line so you won’t flame me too bad . . . (at least it’s in english)
For words I am truly esurient [greedy]
The desire is practic’ly prurient [lustful]
I’m acataleptic [incomprehensible]
I’m so epideictic [showing off]
All of my friends think I’m abderiant [foolish]
kiss, in asbestos . . .
I’ve got me a Junoesque pole.
So kiss, don’t get smart, just condole.
I shan’t ostentate.
Threnodic’s my fate.
Enough of this rigamarole.
-=H=- I aint explainin this crap again
This epideictic little Miss
Who I could so pruriently kiss
Cunnilingually
Her reciprocity
Fellation ! Oh Heavens, what bliss !
Duke Dillon licking my eyebrows into shape..
I’ve given up big words, I swear
That tongue tho’ – well what could compare
Kiss me my dear
Here here and here
And kiss me again way up there
Don’t sing my death song just yet
I’m feeling much better. I’ve set
My big dictonary
Way way and very
Out of reach (don’t make a bet . . .)
kiss
In long words I’m now not immured
Of verbiage I think I’ve been cured,
By my own admission,
I’m now in remission
From multisyllabic crassitude!
Archie – that feels so much better.
You’re evil! You horrible beast!
You couldn’t have waited at least
One single day
To lead me astray?
It’s hard to resist such a feast
kiss – it’s an addiction! Have mercy!
Go on – just a little one won’t hurt …..
When Jayne was just one and not two
And Lucy, as always – “whew!”
On a main Glasgow street
They happened to meet
And gave a synodical view
Archie – stargazing!
When heavenly bodies collide
Archie gets all starry eyed
His knees deliquesce
He drools. It’s a mess
(Oh horrid man! …makes me backslide!)
kiss
I drool from my mouth like I oughter
But see you? My knees go to water.
But this lim’s otoise
Shouldn’t be making this noise –
You’ll be in St Croix till the autu(mn).
Archie – damn, probably missed her.
Whenever I hear the word “Works”
Ergasiophobia lurks;
Without any job
I ain’t got a bob –
I miss out on all the good perks!
Archie – antiworkaholic
Triskaidekaphobia sucks
I’ve counted up all of my fucks
A dozen I’ve reached
There’s a wall I’ve not breached
On one after twelve, terror struck!
anthonygsimmons, in reply to some of Ericka’s brilliance, wrote: Dear Ericka, I liked yours so much I just whipped up this little tribute……(Not half as good of course)
Said William Tell , master bowman
who some thought was a fraudulent showman,
“I’ll shoot a grape instead
of an apple off my son’s head”
“Now that”, said his son, “is a bad omen”.
“Ericka” replied, with a smile
William Tell and his family, of old,
Down the alley, the ten-pin ball, rolled.
But they didn’t keep score
In those dark days of yore.
(Must ask Tiddy for whom the Tells bowled.)
Ærchie, butting in, wrote
So Tony waxed nosopoetic
With five lines he wrote down his epic
Tho Ericka is nice
Sis Chris in a trice
May force down his throat an emetic!
– sorry about your nikhedonia, Tony
Inviting you girls for a ride
What do Trav and Pete try to hide?
When they offer lasses
Carnality classes –
They only commit barmecide.
Tho Travis has foreplay loquacious
And hands out some bouquets herbaceous
The truth is not sung
Of the way he is hung
And the fact that his member’s limaceous
Although we may think they’re just tights
To him they are his suit of lights
And they can get torn
If he gets a horn
Performing an old pagan rite.
After KissKaren and I had overlapping absences, a sudden reconnection was made and I wrote:
Disappearing while I was away
Returning you’ve now made my day
It’s good you are back
Perhaps we’ll attack
Those Websters and have some wordplay.
The loss of my fav’rite playmate
Caused all my brain cells to stagnate
I once thought quite fast
But that time is past
No play made poor Ærch hebetate
Ærchie
I’m given to absquatulating.
Just lately I’ve been apricating.
But, you as bathetic?
Why, that’s anoetic,
But brain cells do need confricating.
kiss -did you get a schneckelpost?
Your absquatulation’s been noted
Just where in the world have you floated?
Some place in the sun?
With plenty of fun –
And your bank balance is now ungroated?
Your schneckelpost’s not in my hands
I left the Westralian sands
I have ambulated
I’m now other-Stated
And live where the op’ra house stands.
Ærchie – emailing to do a little confricating
WORD PLAY
Obscure words are one of my joys. All of the strange words used herein are REAL and have been found in dictionaries. Their meaning is not always as you would imagine. Of course, being basically nasty, I am not going to give any definitions. Get to know your dictionary or go to one of the many online dictionaries.
Apologies in advance to those whose limericks I have quoted without requesting permission.
CRYPTIC CROSSWORD
I posed a question based on a cryptic crossword clue I had come across. The consequences were interesting to say the least and several dictionaries were pressed into service in an assortment of locations.
25th Sept, 1998
Every time I do my crossword
‘M asked for a worker type word
Maybe I am dense
Ever lacking in sense
They want it with six legs – you heard!
kiss replied
It may be the ants or the bees
Or termites, all in colonies
The drones are the workers
Those bugs are no shirkers
They go ’til they fall to six knees
These colonies may be a kind
Of multiple bodies/one mind
Could be the stinks
Of pheromone links
They might be psychic’ly inclined
(thought that up on the way to Baltimore…)
Archie wrote:
You’re close but you’re not close enough,
These cryptic type clues they are tough.
Just five little letters
They will break the fetters –
The word’s in the first verse and stuff!
Archie – believe it or not, the answer is built into the first verse!
Of emmet I had never heard
It appears it’s a dialect word
A dictionary
Answered the query
You clever cat who ate the bird 🙂
kiss
Kiss, you may go top of the class
But take good care, as me you pass
(Emmet was correct
Tho in dialect)
For I can’t keep my hands off your ass!
Archie – just groping around!
I enjoy getting any new word
Or old one that I haven’t heard
Research is a hoot
I like to piroot*
Shiny bits like a curious bird
(unintentional but am I the “bird” of previous mention?:)
In class I will pass to and fro
As it’s helping my database grow
Could it be you
Are growing too
As past you I frequently go?
kiss
*(so dialectic it’s not in my dictionary. Old US Southern word for “window shopping” or looking but not necessarily buying.)
In piroot was I here indulging,
Tho’ my pants soon seemed to be bulging,
When you dropped your books,
And gave me free looks
At your black satin covered impulging.*
Archie – If we’re not careful we’ll write ourselves into a corner (Love those dark little corners!)
* Old Queensland (The deep North of Oz) word for tight little tush! (Now there’s an opening for you!) No, No, I DIDN’T mean it that way!!!!
I’m facing the corner right now
And just can’t imagine quite how
I got here so quick
My brain’s feeling thick
Must come up with something somehow
Got to stop being a lazy slacker
A nosh would be good, just a cracker
I like ’em with cheese
And now would you please
Tell us is that your real tallywacker?
kiss (whew! can I come out of the corner now please?)
While having your afternoon nosh
I looked close and then I said, “Gosh!”
Tho’ you do not moo
What you’ve got isn’t new
I think you are suff’ring from closh!
I had hoped that this was a prank;
I’d take off your panties and spank
What I then inspected.
But closh has infected
You now and it’s udderly rank!
Archie – rapidly becoming bulgeless.
Ignorance clogs up my head
I s’pose I shall now be shot dead
This rumor of closh?
It’s all bosh ‘n’ tosh
Who will join me for chips ‘n’ ged?
kiss :þ
I’ve just checked out all my resources,
What I’ve found is giving me pauses.
That simple word “closh”
Has beaten me, gosh,
It’s different in two major sources
My Webster’s is fifty years old
My Oxford is never so cold.
Closh is there given,
As “cattle are riven,
With diseases” nasty and bold!
But Websters gives us “sore feet”;
With Oxford “sore neck” does compete.
Just which of these two
Applies quite to you –
……(oops)…………………………….
For that jibe I should now be beat!
Archie – now cow-ering! (Closh is also an old game of “ninepins”)
||————–|| *
|| || /
/\ I—————/
(oo)-
(~~)
Australian Cow (hope it works)
The prognosis fills me with gloom
These kooties will sure be my doom
I will not get far
I’ve got the k’tar*
So I better just stay in my room
With Webster I really am miffed
But it was a generous gift
I use it a lot
But it hasn’t got
All the answers I want. I’ve been stiffed!
kiss
*unsure of spelling or even if it can be spelled!!
(Does being upside down get more blood to your brain and make you so smart?)
But we are still even you know,
Respect for you, it does grow.
That “tallywacker”s
Twisted my knackers.
It’s making me feel very slow.
Archie – sits in corner with big pointy hat with a “D” on it! kiss walks away sneering!
I think in the end I will loose
But for now I’ll just tighten the screws
Of my thinking hat
Til I fall on my prat
And pumpern to hear your peeyoos
But sneer? Oh no, that would be dumb
Don’t let your nards get all numb
A tallywacker’s
Prob’ly kept near your knackers
And makes all the wimmins go hummm…
kiss
My Webster’s says a knacker buys carcasses or slaughters livestock for rendering, or it’s an old, sick, or useless farm animal. (I’m getting a little frightened!) And my New World Dictionary says a knacker is a person selling horse meat as dog meat…yuck!! I figure you’re stretching your knickers…
Your offer of hot chips and ged,
Could lead to us both being fed.
With wine just for two,
It might be that you
Could possibly take me to bed!
But leftover ged, it should be fed
To this next, who has a nice head
He is called a sealgh
And can live on whelk
And uses Scots rocks as a bed.
Archie – Websters knew this one but Oxford didn’t!
Here’s wine, will you please fill our cups
A viognier, enjoy a few sups
The water’s ker-plonk
Recalls I brought conch
And fresh tautog to give the wet pups
Food helps me so much when I’m thinking
But then I may find myself sinking
Into the small death
‘Tween this and that breath
And all of the fish leaves me stinking
kiss (ahahaha-ahaha-aha-ha. I think I’m done in…)
On 1st Oct 1998 TuttaGioia chimed in – – – –
Tempting the Fates, I’ll dip a toe in this Styx…
On a scaur sat an ivory *herring* gull
And scanned the bright sight with eye clinical…
What did she see,
From her post by the sea?
It rhymes with her windswept rock “pinnacle”.
From his roost way up in the sky
Just what did our seagull descry?
A’perched on his cliff,
It was just a skiff
He spied with his seagully eye!
Archie
A convincing solution, But..
I do hope that skiff’s not on fire,
‘Cause what the gull saw was a pyre…
Spied from his pinnacle
A glowing bright shinicle,
A bonfire that lit up the shire.
That word was a bit too obscure..
In OED?.I’m not sure…
Same root as “shine”
So worked out just fine,
And in olden days had allure.
* * *
Tutta asked again
“I’ve been to that mean marriage broker,
A toitish and greedy old joker…
To hear wedding chimes,
We haven’t what rhymes,
Oh, Daughter! I’m just a coal stoker!”
Despite the fact that no-one came up with an answer, Tutta commented –
This is much easier..
A poor girl, she’d be without dower,
But her dad the cupboard would scour..
To provide her with “this”
So she’d trade in her “miss”
And plan an Old World bridal shower.
Tutta…Rhymes with 1,2 and 5 of first lim.
* * *
Tell me now, what do you think
Is a tipple, a ‘tween meals snort link?
If you let it mature
You’ll have it for sure,
‘Cause with age it’s become just a drink.
* * *
My fingers are cool and caressing,
If you’re in me I’m all over, pressing…
But you’ll not be on fire,
You’ll not even perspire…
Despite my hot name, I’m a blessing.
Tutta
Maybe one’s right?
G ilt by the sun’s gentle fire
U nder the spell of desire
E ager to please
S ummer’s fine breeze
S weet’ing the air of the byre
kiss (I get at least three guesses don’t I?)
Karen’s limmed a scene so palpable, you could almost hear the flies buzzing through the golden shafts……
My answer pales…oh, well…
B abbling and sparkling with light,
U der the elms a brave sight…
R unning through leas
‘N eath a cool breeze,
E ver a soothing delight.
Tutta…I think the final “E” survives mostly at the end of placenames.
We have schizophrened in three ways.
To keep all these up would take days.
I picked one with wine,
We’ll have a good time
And with some more words we will plays!
I don’t like those oysters at all
Not while they can get up and crawl
Oh, it’s oyster fish
You’ve put on my dish!
And your ruche made a very fine faule.
A sleep after wine is just fine
I like it fine when you have wine
Although I will bulge
I dare not indulge
Until you have signed I may dine!
And reverting to another line –
I see that’s quite a mouthful for you,
Tallywacker that is built for two!
Of course I am proud
When it I unshroud –
Why is it that fainting are you?
Archie – Who brought that tuna-flavoured body paint into this NG?
I’m not really fond of fish
Unless it’s crustacean-ish
How ’bout a crawdad
This lace smells real bad
It’s fallen into the fish dish
So since I didn’t eat much
How ’bout we get into some dutch
Instead of a snooze
We’ll drink up the booze
Then shall we go for the clutch?
Your size does not make me tremble
This taco ain’t no little thimble
So bring it on dear
It’s words that I fear
So hush and lets get to the dindle
kiss This may be it. I’m wearing out my dictionaries!!
The Common or corn sow thistle?
For that you can just go and whistle
Thistles have prickles
Do much more that tickles
And can damage an eager young pistle!
I’m sure you had another for “Dindle”
(I’ve got me a very good spindle
It quickly rotates
And totally sates
That passion the sight of it kindles!)
My rams with precise sounding speech
Have taught all they’re going to teach.
Cos they’re not the best
They need a big rest,
Their pages are starting to bleach!
Archie
Thistles are Common and thorny
Stickers and corn make sows horny? (don’t answer that)
A dindle’s a tingle
There isn’t a single
Taco that’s not a bit corny
Oh help me up out of this pit
Of clever pleonastic wit
I’ve really had fun
But Archie has won
So now I will bow out of it
kiss
Come sit by me while I blink bonnily,
I’ll warm you so hey nonny nonnily…
And At Christmas time,
With someone I rhyme,
Who leaves lots of gifts so wantonnily.
Tutta
Karen, With a power of invention Putting belief in suspension… replied…
S o, who’s the fat guy by my fire?
A ll in all my behavior’s been dire
N o gifts for me
T ho’ I’ll sit on his knee
A nd laugh at his funny attire
kiss
I’ m sorry that you have been bad…
N aughtiness with some young lad??
G uess I will help you!
L et’s look up that old flue…
‘E’ s there!…Kris Kringle, by gad!!
Tutta…Who, if he gets any paunchier, will be applying at the malls, come December!!
In this case bad has been good
And in the next months if you should
Get big enough
To do Santa stuff
In line for your lap I’ll have stood
kiss (santa, buddah, hmmm)
I’ve watched you two from afar,
And find it so very bizarre
That Arch steals the girls
While others toss pearls..
Is he a famous rock star?
Tutta…Archie, just kidding…your pearls are the best!…I understand why they can’t wait to get their hands and…well, let’s stick with hands…on them!!..
30/11/98
KissKaren. your back is so sore
Now bent with your weight and some more!*
Told once by a mage,
Some skilled effleurage
Will ease all the pain and lots more!
*One and a half turkeys, two extra helpings of apple pie and cream, and those extra flapjacks didn’t help either!
Archie – in trouble again!
Oh Archie if only I could
Put on some weight then I would
Tho’ I ate all those birds
And I’m too full for words
I’ll eat more dessert as I should!
But here you go stirrin’ the pot
I *wish* I was fat but I’m not
I drink too much coffee
The weight falls right off me
More coffee please, iced or hot
But effleurage sounds rather fine
I’ll stroke yours while you stroke mine
My stuffed little tummy
Thinks it’s all yummy
Now *this* is the *right* way to dine 🙂
mmmm-mmm (buurrrrrrp)
kiss
No collection of limericks would be complete without a reference to John Miller, the keeper of limerick lore.
They have all their symbols, OK?
The far right, and in their own way
They’re loyal to friends
(Not means but the ends)
Soft John hoists the Fylfot each day!
Archie
What in blue Hell is a “Flyfot?”
A fly passing gas in a dry spot?
Was this meant to demean
Mr. Clinton, so keen,
Who possibly suffers from flyrot?
Oh, “Fylfot’s” the word that you meant!
A cross, so artistically bent
That it made people shiver,
Just emotionally quiver,
As off to the workcamps they went
John Miller
Date: 1998/11/30 (gee, I went beresk with Websters on this date.)
When Petal and Sweet P have fun
We all can be sure of a pun
Or two and some ex-
tended lines (and sex).
They are gelogenic Top Guns!
Date: 1998/11/30
Our newsgroup was once so sedate
With lims that were fun with no weight.
Now we’ve been invaded
Our minds are degraded –
The spammers are here and they formicate!
Archie – Its not a pretty sight!
Kisskaren and I had a lot of fun doing this one around the end of 1998 and into 1999 just before she went on vacation. Tiddy was becoming curious.
Archie, I know I am thick,
But is it a liquidized dic-
Tionary your drinking,
Or are you just thinking
Up new words to make us all sick?
Tiddy.
I totally agree Tid. Well said !
Nonsensical words do my head
as off I go lookin’
for another fuckin’
word that’s not there, I’ll oft’ lose the thread !
Duke Dillon
Some folk have posted a barrage
Of profound obscure verbiage–
It’s a hassle to look
Meanings up in a book-
So I just throw them in the garbage! 😉
(give it a french pronunciation! It’ll work!!!!!)
To life, and love, and laughter,
Kaylin
I was dared to post this. Couldn’t resist, but, since I’m a gutless weenie, definitions are given after each line so you won’t flame me too bad . . . (at least it’s in english)
For words I am truly esurient [greedy]
The desire is practic’ly prurient [lustful]
I’m acataleptic [incomprehensible]
I’m so epideictic [showing off]
All of my friends think I’m abderiant [foolish]
kiss, in asbestos . . .
I’ve got me a Junoesque pole.
So kiss, don’t get smart, just condole.
I shan’t ostentate.
Threnodic’s my fate.
Enough of this rigamarole.
-=H=- I aint explainin this crap again
This epideictic little Miss
Who I could so pruriently kiss
Cunnilingually
Her reciprocity
Fellation ! Oh Heavens, what bliss !
Duke Dillon licking my eyebrows into shape..
I’ve given up big words, I swear
That tongue tho’ – well what could compare
Kiss me my dear
Here here and here
And kiss me again way up there
Don’t sing my death song just yet
I’m feeling much better. I’ve set
My big dictonary
Way way and very
Out of reach (don’t make a bet . . .)
kiss
In long words I’m now not immured
Of verbiage I think I’ve been cured,
By my own admission,
I’m now in remission
From multisyllabic crassitude!
Archie – that feels so much better.
You’re evil! You horrible beast!
You couldn’t have waited at least
One single day
To lead me astray?
It’s hard to resist such a feast
kiss – it’s an addiction! Have mercy!
Go on – just a little one won’t hurt …..
When Jayne was just one and not two
And Lucy, as always – “whew!”
On a main Glasgow street
They happened to meet
And gave a synodical view
Archie – stargazing!
When heavenly bodies collide
Archie gets all starry eyed
His knees deliquesce
He drools. It’s a mess
(Oh horrid man! …makes me backslide!)
kiss
I drool from my mouth like I oughter
But see you? My knees go to water.
But this lim’s otoise
Shouldn’t be making this noise –
You’ll be in St Croix till the autu(mn).
Archie – damn, probably missed her.
Whenever I hear the word “Works”
Ergasiophobia lurks;
Without any job
I ain’t got a bob –
I miss out on all the good perks!
Archie – antiworkaholic
Triskaidekaphobia sucks
I’ve counted up all of my fucks
A dozen I’ve reached
There’s a wall I’ve not breached
On one after twelve, terror struck!
anthonygsimmons, in reply to some of Ericka’s brilliance, wrote: Dear Ericka, I liked yours so much I just whipped up this little tribute……(Not half as good of course)
Said William Tell , master bowman
who some thought was a fraudulent showman,
“I’ll shoot a grape instead
of an apple off my son’s head”
“Now that”, said his son, “is a bad omen”.
“Ericka” replied, with a smile
William Tell and his family, of old,
Down the alley, the ten-pin ball, rolled.
But they didn’t keep score
In those dark days of yore.
(Must ask Tiddy for whom the Tells bowled.)
Ærchie, butting in, wrote
So Tony waxed nosopoetic
With five lines he wrote down his epic
Tho Ericka is nice
Sis Chris in a trice
May force down his throat an emetic!
– sorry about your nikhedonia, Tony
Inviting you girls for a ride
What do Trav and Pete try to hide?
When they offer lasses
Carnality classes –
They only commit barmecide.
Tho Travis has foreplay loquacious
And hands out some bouquets herbaceous
The truth is not sung
Of the way he is hung
And the fact that his member’s limaceous
Although we may think they’re just tights
To him they are his suit of lights
And they can get torn
If he gets a horn
Performing an old pagan rite.
After KissKaren and I had overlapping absences, a sudden reconnection was made and I wrote:
Disappearing while I was away
Returning you’ve now made my day
It’s good you are back
Perhaps we’ll attack
Those Websters and have some wordplay.
The loss of my fav’rite playmate
Caused all my brain cells to stagnate
I once thought quite fast
But that time is past
No play made poor Ærch hebetate
Ærchie
I’m given to absquatulating.
Just lately I’ve been apricating.
But, you as bathetic?
Why, that’s anoetic,
But brain cells do need confricating.
kiss -did you get a schneckelpost?
Your absquatulation’s been noted
Just where in the world have you floated?
Some place in the sun?
With plenty of fun –
And your bank balance is now ungroated?
Your schneckelpost’s not in my hands
I left the Westralian sands
I have ambulated
I’m now other-Stated
And live where the op’ra house stands.
Ærchie – emailing to do a little confricating
limericks; naughty and nice 