Some Scots Lassie, I think.


Ice Block

Now listen up, all of you people!
To make a big wave not a ripple
You never should knock
The effect of the shock
Of an Ice Block that’s touched to a nipple!

My Little Mouse

Tell me Arch , does your little mouse
Run fast all over the house
Or does it just wait
and anticipate
getting caught in the little cat’s mouth


It’s cert’nly not one to say “Squeek,”
And the mouth that it seeks will not “Eeek.”
The pussy’s mouth sought
Is moist and it’s taut
And certain to make MY knees go weak!


I was listening to “The Silver Tongued Devil” and hoping to soon hear that you’ll “Help Me Make it Through the Night”!


This was written in the old alt.jokes.limericks newsgroup

One of my limerick rivals, my cyber-sister Marty, played along with this one.

Don’t pick on our favoured Camilla –
My year had her outside the villa.
Oh God, what a blast.
Left all at half mast.
She said “Wow, it tastes like vanilla.!”

Ærchie Flashman

Flashman, indeed! You claim him,
That sneaky surveyor of quim?
His di’ry I’ve read
I think what he said
Are subjects quite fit for a lim!


My great-uncle Flash was a cad
With ladies he was quite a lad.
Despite his great shame
My hero became.
Is that why I’m evil and bad?